The first time I heard Golden and Soda Pop, the two global smash hits from the equally massive Netflix film, K-pop Demon Hunters, was before I’d watched the movie. I saw them climbing the charts. I knew the movie was on Netflix. I had a listen because I’m always curious about unexpected global popularity. The songs didn’t hit for me on first listen. I could tell they were good pop songs, but they felt too much like eating candy floss as pop sometimes does. Then my favourite Formula 1 podcaster posted that it was “the best movie ever,” on his Instagram story…

Today was my first new music release from a BTS member since I became a baby ARMY. Exciting. Even more exciting that it’s the one and the only J-Hope. Well technically it’s a Le Sserafim song with a J-Hope feature (they’re a K-pop girl group). In the past 2 months I’ve gone deep on BTS but not really broadened my cultural exploration to other K-pop artists. Maybe there’ll be time once I get through 13 years of BTS content…

I went to the Australian MotoGP on the weekend. My siblings and I took my Dad for his 70^th birthday. He’d watched the series for years but never been in real life. It was wholesome. As you get older it suddenly hits that your opportunities to sit and talk about nothing with your parents might be numbered. What a gift to have the time to let conversations meander between the past and present. It felt precious, a true moment of re-connection.

I may have found my story. It’s not technically mine, but I’ve been granted permission to share. It meets my two search criteria: a true story that’s happening in real time. Given this, I don’t know the ending yet. That’s a risk, but it has an intriguing, magic-adjacent beginning and a dream protagonist so 🤷‍♀️.

I think my first parasocial relationship was with Lucy Pevensie when I was six. After finishing The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, I opened every cupboard in every building I visited, convinced if I just believed it enough I’d find Narnia on the other side. The focus on Lucy was simply because I recognised myself in her: the diligent, earnest sibling, easily hurt by less considerate brothers and sisters. The one who was so ready to believe in magic. If Lucy was real, I was convinced we’d be best friends.

I’ve wanted to write a story my whole adult life. If only wanting was enough. My brain is addicted to narratives to the point that I sometimes care more about other peoples’ stories than I do my own. There is always a moment—usually during my withdrawal phase when a story ends—where a narrative world feels bigger and more compelling than my real one. Every time I sit down to write the same thing happens: my brain stops me to ask why… “why are you writing this story?” My answers must have been unconvincing because my past is littered with half written tales.

RM from BTS did a WeVerse Live earlier this week. In true RM fashion he went deep, not just talking about his hair, training routines and what he had for dinner (the most common WeVerse conversation topics), but how he’s been struggling with insomnia, anxiety, self doubt, and loneliness since his discharge from the military. It was raw and heartfelt and has made me reflect on the social contract between artist and fan—the emotional labour expected and returned.

I’ve been grumpy all weekend and it can’t just be because I’m not into the new TS album? Surely not. They’re just pop songs, and good ones at that. Sonically surprising, catchy, and with memorable lyrics (lol). She promised fun ear worms and she delivered. But the things is, I’ve never been into Taylor Swift just for the ear worms…

There are a few videos on the Internet that I never scroll past. I’ll happily watch every time I stumble across them because they make me feel good.

I don’t really want to dive into why, it’s uncomplicated. I’ve just collected them here for when I need them.

I’ve been a fan of Taylor since my country-music-loving ex-boyfriend introduced me to Fearless when I was 23. That’s a 16-year relationship, longer than I’ve known my husband. And I appreciate that it’s not a real relationship, but because of the way Taylor writes—the way she’s built a narrative multi-verse within her music that connects you to her story in a way that also serves to echo your own life experiences—the connection I have with the idea of ‘Taylor Swift’ is very emotional. That’s why I blacked out a little during the Eras Tour (Eras amnesia is a thing).

I was both moved and disturbed by All Fours. Probably because I’m turning 40 in a few months and I’m terrified of what perimenopause is going to do to my body and brain. Some passages felt like a gut punch. Others made me cringe and snap the book shut, muttering angrily. It was like being seen and attacked simultaneously. The whole thing made me insecure and righteous and confused and repulsed and then insecure again. Unease on loop.

I first stumbled upon the reactionverse when I became a TikTok lurker. Specifically I became hooked on Taylor Swift reactions. As a Fearless era Swiftie, there is something deeply satisfying about watching a TS ‘hater’ slowly change their mind about her talent one song at a time. Reaction videos have existed for as long as YouTube has (about 20 years), but the number of them has exploded in the past 3 years. There’s probably a multitude of reasons for this, but the one that stands out for me is supply and demand: it’s not just me who’s getting a kick out of watching people like what they like.

The question I ask myself these days when I’m deep in the scroll is, “are you doomscrolling or bloomscrolling?”  

Does my time spent online leave me feeling happier, more connected, more creative, hopeful about the future?

OR does it make me feel afraid, concerned, despairing, as if the future is hopeless?