Let me be clear that I entered this rabbit hole with a skeptical mindset. I wanted my hypothesis about manufactured pop music to be proven right. I did not get what I wanted. That’s because regardless of how the machine of K-pop makes me feel, there’s just something magical about BTS. They’re a moonshot.

I’m a bit clingy. That’s all it is. I scrabble and clutch at good feelings as they depart. That’s why I filled booklets with Backstreet Boys posters as a teen and saw The Fellowship of the Ring twelve times at the cinema. I guess my mum didn’t see love in these behaviours but something more embarrassing. Perhaps it wasn’t my obsessive personality she was worried about so much as my questionable taste. Regardless, the truth is that to me, there is nothing more thrilling than being a fan. That’s why I kept a plastic Burger King figurine of Legolas on my bedside table for years. See also: Orlando Bloom.