Please like what I like: finding validation in the reactionverse
You know that feeling when you really love something so you share it with someone else and their response makes you feel shitty? My childhood is replete with memories of that feeling. It’s par for the course when you’re a super enthusiastic lover of all things, and the least cool member of your family.
I sometimes wonder if my deep need to convince people to get on board with my latest fixation is why I’ve ended up working in marketing. Bringing people ‘along for the journey’ has been my MO since I was about 7.
Last week my son—who is blessed with a brain just like mine—was mid flow telling me a detail about his latest fix, pokemon. In a moment of thoughtlessness I turned to him and said, “I’m so sorry sweetheart but I just don’t really care.”
His face fell. He let out a deep sigh and said, “I know Mum. I know you don’t really care.” My heart broke a little. I would absolutely love not to have been the person that made him feel that feeling.
Wanting people to like the stuff you like is human. There’s even a social psychology theory about it from the 70s called Social Identity Theory, built on 3 core ideas:
Social categorization – we naturally classify people into groups like age, gender, political leanings etc.
Social identification – we adopt the identity of groups we belong to—what we like essentially becomes part of who we are
Social comparison – we compare our group identifications with others to maintain our self-esteem
With this lens, the simple act of sharing something you like with someone you love is actually pretty loaded. Their rejection of the thing can knock your self-esteem and self worth, and increase your sense of isolation. Conversely, their enjoyment of the thing can boost your feeling of belonging.
The reason I’m talking about this is because one of my favourite internet rabbitholes is what I call the ‘reactionverse’. There are millions of videos on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram dedicated to people recording themselves reacting to something. It brings me so much joy, and social identity theory helps make sense of my enjoyment: watching these videos gives me all the positive effects with none of the interpersonal risk.
Taste conversion reactions
I first stumbled upon the reactionverse when I became a TikTok lurker. Specifically I became hooked on Taylor Swift reactions. As a Fearless era Swiftie, there is something deeply satisfying about watching a TS ‘hater’ slowly change their mind about her talent one song at a time. Reaction videos have existed for as long as YouTube has (about 20 years), but the number of them has exploded in the past 3 years. There’s probably a multitude of reasons for this, but the one that stands out for me is supply and demand: it’s not just me who’s getting a kick out of watching people like what they like.
My favourite early find was these two jokers, Terry and Kaniya. I would describe the feeling I have watching them react to the pause in the final chorus of Dress as pure glee. Also hard recommend: them losing their shit over the bridge in Your Losing Me.
Also here for this reaction of my favourite movie opening scene since forever? Genius.
Understanding the group assignment reactions
The other genre of reactionverse clips I value is fellow fans reacting, my favourite being Chats and Reacts—two Australian besties who go on album-discovery deep dives together. The feeling I get from this kind of content is different to the ‘discovery’ genre of the reactionverse. This is more like making friends across the ether who care as much as I do, and are prepared to travel deep into the lore with me. Watching their videos makes being a fan of Taylor Swift feel like a collaborative group project. It’s fandom as a creative endeavour.
It's no surprise that my recent BTS fixation has also led me back to the reactionverse. TikTok is filled with grown men discovering and falling for BTS, and I truly can’t get enough of it.
The reactionverse is slowly healing my fear of rejection one video at a time because it proves that out in the big wide world there are guaranteed to be people that like what you like. No doubt there will always be a bunch of taste police for whom ‘mainstream appeal’ and ‘artistic masterpiece’ are mutually exclusive concepts, but the reactionverse is here to remind me of the ‘popular’ part of pop music.
And isn’t it nice that in the age of the internet, my tween social trauma can be erased in 10 minutes by 3 random dudes discovering Jung Kook’s Standing Next to You.
P.s. anything really is possible in the reactionverse. Sometimes my fandom universes collide and I feel true happiness.