Who’s that dismantling my imaginary bridge? It’s the internet.
I’ve spent so long away from SOTM and I have ideas coming out my ears but it’s taken some time to transition back to the inner kingdom of thought that enables me to wrangle them into a digestable format. That’s a novel way of putting it, you might think, but actually I’m stealing it from The Rose Field, the third Book of Dust by Phillip Pullman.
Daemons at Christmas: Pullman and the stories of childhood
I’m at my family’s bach (holiday house) beside a lake. A place I’ve been coming to since I was a baby. A place my dad came to every summer from the age of 9. It is such a privilege to have a place like this in my history and in my heart. It’s fundamentally grounding. So many of my origin stories are bound up in this place.
10-1: 40 things* I’ve loved in 40 years
We’ve made it. It’s taken me 3 days to write this because it’s December and I’m forty and I’m so. tired.
20-11: 40 things* I’ve loved in 40 years
I’m finding this listicle marathon to be quite a cathartic experience. It’s actually a really nice way to reflect on your life. Highly recommend. Anyway, shit’s getting real now. We’re down to my foundations.
30-21: 40 things* I’ve loved in 40 years
I’m back for night two of this trip down a nostalgic and oft traumatic memory lane. Let’s hit it.
40-31: 40 things* I’ve loved in 40 years
I’ve been trying to narrow down the 40 things* I’ve loved in my 40 years of life. The best way to define “things” in the context of this listicle is: cultural artefacts - books, films, music, TV shows. I had a few games in there initially but they dropped off after I had an epiphany that games consume me, they don’t nourish me. What I wanted from this list was cultural artefacts that have given me comfort, escape, hope, joy, a sense of belonging, a thread of connection with other human beings and/or the world.
Not a fangirl, a flowseeker: a unified theory of the fandom-prone personality
Years and years ago, I went to an incredible talk by a woman named Sacha Judd called “what you love matters”. It really struck a chord with me, so much so that I still vividly remember parts of it 8 years later. You can read her full explanation of the talk here, but the gist is: people (predominantly young women) who participate in online fandoms have incredible creative and technical skills that the tech industry overlooks because they’ve been honed in service of something socially embarrassing. Think: One Direction, The Lord of the Rings, or My Little Pony.
Everybody scream: when love is scary and women are unhinged
I’ve been listening to the new Florence + the Machine album and it’s soooo witchy and intense and majestic that I wanted to know more, so I read this interview in the Guardian. There are many nuggets in the piece that I’m obsessed with, like, “I had a Coke can’s worth of blood in my abdomen,” and, “I was very interested in the Bible and Greek myths and Goosebumps.”
Question 7 in the age of 6-7: a journey of meaning-making
I finished Question 7, a book by Richard Flanagan, a few days ago. I don’t think I’ve ever been so moved by a book in my life. It left me shaken, weepy and filled with hope and awe. It sounds insane to make such a sweeping statement. I’ve read so many books, consumed so many stories, but this one gave me something entirely new. I held my breath throughout the entire last chapter.
I’m about to turn forty and I just read All Fours by Miranda July: hormonal cliffs and storytelling in the age of instagram
I was both moved and disturbed by All Fours. Probably because I’m turning 40 in a few months and I’m terrified of what perimenopause is going to do to my body and brain. Some passages felt like a gut punch. Others made me cringe and snap the book shut, muttering angrily. It was like being seen and attacked simultaneously. The whole thing made me insecure and righteous and confused and repulsed and then insecure again. Unease on loop.